http://castellum.blogdrive.com/ -Complicated- Fri, 14 Oct 2005 14:25:06 PDT http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2005. http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/39.html Fri, 14 Oct 2005 22:22:18 GMT Push me under. Is it at all ironic, or perhaps even amusing, that the only way for me to feel better... is for me to feel worse? I need to submerge myself in the pain- just so I can get rid of it. It seems a little backwards to me, but it works. One of the only things that works. I fake being happy to everyone else, so when I try to do happy things to make myself feel better... I feel like I'm lying to myself. Whatever's in me -- I just want it gone. I want to expose it, pry it out of my chest and end it. And the only way to do it is to submerge myself in it. I don't fear it.... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=39 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/38.html Tue, 20 Sep 2005 13:50:01 GMT Yep, I'm sick. Really the only reason I have enough time to sit down and type all of this out. It's strep throat, goody goody. *sarcasm* But at least it affords me a day off from school. It'll give me time to catch up on somethings. And I'm not missing Chem, so I should be in working order. That's the only class that might be able to throw me for a loop, or at least the one I've heard can do that. So I'm keeping my eye out for it. They really don't exagerate when they say that Sophmore year is hectic. I'm barely on the computer nowadays... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=38 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/37.html Wed, 07 Sep 2005 14:13:15 GMT Our joint birthday party was on the 4th, Sunday of Labor Day Weekend. All in all it went pretty well. At least to my knowledge. Everyone said it was an awesome party, but then why would they tell the hostess her own party sucked? So I'm not sure if I can really trust what they said. I just hope they had a good time. It got off to a bit of an awkward start, but once everyone was there and people started going in the pool it started to work out. As soon as the sun went down everyone poretty much went crazy. People were thrown into the pool left and right, including me. (Actually... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=37 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/36.html Mon, 22 Aug 2005 15:17:42 GMT Apparently I am granted a reprieve for the day. I was supposed to baby-sit my hellspawn of a little cousin, but I don't have to. But I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I absolutely adore my baby cousin, but that doesn't make her less of a hellspawn. Apparently it runs in the family. *points at self fervently*. =P I sometimes find myself wishing that I was at the point of my life where I could look back at this time and realize the triviality of the situations at hand. Unfortunately now doesn't seem to be that time exactly. Bummer, eh? Trying to... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=36 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/35.html Mon, 15 Aug 2005 02:37:31 GMT This entry is going to be amazingly short. I'm sneaking on before I have to go back upstairs to hang out before bed. It'll be a couple of hours till I actually have to go to bed (obviously) but I'd feel bad if I left them up there all by themselves. I mean-- I'm a guest in their house, I should probably be spending some time with them, right? Anyway, I think this whole blog thing is actually helping (gaspshockawe). It cleared my head a little. I can't really focus on what's really going on yet; I'm not saying this is some miracle cure. But I'm feeling... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=35 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/34.html Sun, 14 Aug 2005 00:46:52 GMT IT BROKE! ARRGGGHHH! -fumes quite loudly- I knew this time was going to come. I knew it. The stupid computer was just too old to be able to keep working. Ughhh. I didn't want it too though. I was completely locked in for two days. @.@ Felt like some odd sort of hermit. It just wouldn't turn on. I mean, I heard the computer whirring so something was happening. But the monitor wouldn't turn on. Thus began the quest to bring the friggin thing to Circuit City. So we tried plugging it in to one of the monitors there but even then it didn't turn anything on. We... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=34 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/33.html Tue, 09 Aug 2005 16:11:01 GMT Umm.. hi. >.>;; Yeah. Been I while since I've been back. Tell you the truth I don't know why I'm here again in the first place. I thought I'd gotten over this-- thought that maybe it was a good thing I didn't have to post anything in this place anymore. But... now I'm thinking that maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I didn't get over anything, maybe I was just shutting it away again. So I'm trying to break myself. It's proving harder than I would think. I'm going against instincts even typing this little. It's like a chore to make my fingers move across the keys. I'm tempted... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=33 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/32.html Thu, 07 Apr 2005 00:04:24 GMT It was the most glorious day today. I got to walk home too. One of the very rare occasions of warmth it seems. It's so odd. I feel like I'm in some sort of distorted fairy-tale. As I walk home, well I basically take a path that's carved right through woods. Of course there are houses all around it, I mean this is a development. But... the trees, the animals. It's all still there. You hear the birds chirping and watch as they fly past you on their business. Or a squirrel will scurry past as you walk along the street. I've even seen a whole family of deer just grazing on the... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=32 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/31.html Sat, 26 Mar 2005 14:50:15 GMT .... Wow. Haven't been back here in a while. I guess that's a good thing, ne? It means I'm not as dependant on this place as I used to be. Or... I'm just really boring. But nothing can be done about that now. xP :: Swats away cobwebs :: o.0; I hate spiders, I really do. :: Wipes away some dust :: -Grumble- I don't like cleaning. -Sigh- Oh well, I guess it was my fault anyway for having abandoned this place. To any who still reads this, which is doubtful, don't expect me to write in this that much more. I really have nothing to write ^.^;;; Which makes this a... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=31 http://castellum.blogdrive.com/archive/30.html Tue, 01 Mar 2005 13:14:34 GMT Hahaha, name explains it all. It's currently 7:53 on a snow day and I've been awake for an hour. xP Such a loser. Anway I took some random quizzes that I might post here, seeing as how it's too early in the morning for anything to happen. Except maybe that I prayed incessantly for snow and now have to study (>.<;; Promised God that I'd read the whole chapter at least two times if we had a snow day... why do I get myself into these things???) Every quiz below has come from another blog, or website and I do not claim any rights in finding and/or making them.... (more) http://castellum.blogdrive.com/comments?id=30